People who pretend they don't speak English to avoid paying full price for things. We KNOW you speak it and we KNOW you understand the currency!
White people who use urban slang
Urban people who use urban slang
Health club skanks who spend more time fixing their makeup and hair before a workout than they do actually working out
People who experience dramatic weather and act like it's never happened in the history of the world before ("Can you BELIEVE how COLD it is?" Uh. Yeah. It's January, Einstein.).
Perez Hilton
Jon and Kate
People who watch Jon and Kate
Tom Leykis
Those who completely tear apart people they claim are friends behind their backs. You losers get double-slapped and then sent to Chris Brown's house.
People with no phone manners or etiquette whatsoever.
People who STILL make Clinton/Lewinsky jokes
Jesse Jackson
Emailers who refuse to accept that "reply" and "reply all" are NOT the same function
Message Board members who refuse to accept that "Quote" and "Reply" are NOT the same function
Sanjaya
Anyone who says that something "sucks donkey balls" (Where on Earth did that ridiculous phrase originate, anyway? Double-slap the idiot who started it)
Holly Hunter
Dog-people who can't understand that not all of us are dog-people
Seth MacFarlane, unless he takes "American Dad" off the air.
Automotive repairmen who talk down to women
Computer tech-support people who talk down to us "lay people", yet still cannot fix the problem (double-slap for all the times they've talked down to me, and then in the end *I* fixed the problem)
Justin Timberlake
People who begin a sentence and then interrupt themselves with "Nevermind, I'm not gonna say it..."
People who say "I have great news! But I can't tell anyone yet..."
Anyone who says "supposably", "aksed", "liberry" and "chimley".
Jessica Simpson
People who pour a cup of coffee before it's finished brewing, leaving the rest of the pot to taste, as my brother-in-law calls it, "like hot water with a brown crayon dipped in".
Animal abusers
Greta Van Susteren
Maury Povich, unless he gets a better show and stops all the Who's Yo Daddy shows and the "I'm Here to Confess That I'm Sleeping With My Baby-Momma's Cousin" shows. It's always the cousin. Always.
Joe Jackson
People who still think caller ID is some cool thing and have to answer the phone with stuff like "What do you want? Ha ha!" Um. yeah, that stopped being funny when caller ID was 2 minutes old.
Anyone who says "buh-bye" at the end of a call or visit.
People who merge onto a tollway/freeway/highway at 35 mph. You people ARE going to cause accidents!!
Anyone who walks around with their pants around their hips and boxers hanging out. That was stupid in the 90s and it's double stupid now in 2009. Knock that off and pull up your pants!
The list will continue.
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