Blender magazine named "We Built This City" by Starship as the worst song ever.
Initially, I thought that was a little harsh...I can think of worse songs, and I even like this song, but upon further examination, it actually is pretty bad. Fortunately for Starship, it was hugely popular because it's hidden behind a happy, fun, 80s-style melody.
This song runs into problems almost right away.
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Alright. Rock and Roll. I can dig that. No problem.
Say you don't know me or recognize my face
Say you don't care who goes to that kind of place
Knee deep in the hoopla sinking in your fight
Too many runaways eating up the night
It's starting to go downhill. Any song containing the word "hoopla" should be checked for further problems. Although, someone should have seen this coming, since the album was titled Knee Deep In The Hoopla. Man, music as a whole got away with a lot of weird shit in the 80s, didn't it?
Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio,
don't you remember We built this city,
we built this city on rock and roll
Alright, now we're beginning to see trouble. Marconi plays the what, now? A "mamba" is a fatally venomous arboreal snake. Could they possibly have been going for "mambo"? You would think a bunch of musicians would be able to identify the difference.
Someone always playing corporation games
Who cares they're always changing corporation names
This from a band that changed their name three times?
(Rock and Roll Trivia break...it was actually FIVE times, but the 4th and 5th changes came several years after this song was written, so for historical accuracy, the hypocrisy of this lyric is based on the 1st three changes)
We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page
Well, yes, of course they do...what do you expect...
1.) You're musicians who don't know what the Mambo is
2.) You can't decide what you want the name of your band to be
3.) You're using words like "hoopla."
Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio,
don't you remember We built this city,
we built this city on rock and roll
Again with the mamba. Just to be clear...
This is a mamba...
And this is the Mambo...
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
It's just another Sunday, in a tired old street
Police have got the choke hold, OH-oh-oh-UH-UH-oh!
then we just lost the beat
Uh-oh. The beat is about the only thing this song had going for it. Now what?
Who counts the money underneath the bar
Who rides the wrecking ball in two rock guitars.
Uh... dude, what?
Don't tell us you need us, 'cos we're the ship of fools
The starship of fools?
Looking for America, coming through your schools
Not the best idea, Starship. Stay away from the schools.
Radio: (I'm looking out over that Golden Gate bridge
Out on another gorgeous sunny Saturday, not seein' that bumper to bumper traffic)
Don't you remember ('member)('member)
Cute effect. How the hell did this song hit number 1?
Radio: (What's your favorite radio station, in your favorite radio city.
The city by the bay, the city that rocks, the city that never sleeps)
Marconi plays the mamba
listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Well, I will give them that...San Francisco can be credited with producing some decent rock and roll. But I can't get behind the idea that this song falls into that category. It's a fun song, to be sure, as long as you can ignore the lyrics.
(I actually do like the song, so keep that in mind before you come its defense by way of comments telling me that I clearly wouldn't know good music if I fell over it - although, that may very well be true considering I just admitted to liking this song)
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