Cookie Monster: Public Enemy #1

I've just read a CNN Entertainment article about the upcoming 40th anniversary of Sesame Street and how it just "ain't what it used to be" and how it had to be changed for today's children. And it reminded me of the article that I previously complained about regarding smoking scenes being edited from old Tom & Jerry cartoons.

They've cleaned up Sesame Street and I can't say I support some of the block improvements they've made.

"Those early years are now available on DVD; and the discs contain a disclaimer that essentially states that they are intended for nostalgia purposes only. The warning reads as follows:

"These early 'Sesame Street' episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today's preschool child."

Wrong. They don't suit the needs of today's preschool child's parents.

"On the DVDs, Cookie Monster can be seen as his character of Alistair Cookie in his "Monsterpiece Theatre" segment (a spoof of Alistair Cooke's "Masterpiece Theatre") smoking a pipe.

Yep, Cookie Monster smoked."

Oh come on! Cookie Monster also ate plates and books. I think I saw him sneak up on Big Bird with a bag of charcoal and barbecue tongs once as well.

But still! I watched Cookie Monster do these things and I never had the urge to pick up a pipe, or eat a plate or a book (I do enjoy barbecued poultry, but that's the 4th of July's fault, not Cookie Monster's).

"Today, Cookie Monster's diet is much more balanced, as he has adopted the philosophy that cookies are a "sometimes food." Cookie coincidentally changed his tune in 2006 amidst reports that childhood obesity had reached epidemic proportions."

YGTBFKM.

*clears throat*

Are we all paying attention?

Excuse me... you in the back, there... could you please stop tweeting for a sec? Thanks. And you... your boss can wait, put that phone down.

Everyone listening? Oh good. Because I would like to report something shocking so please brace yourselves.

COOKIE MONSTER DOES NOT MAKE CHILDREN FAT!!

Is Cookie Monster doing your grocery shopping? Is Cookie Monster bringing the Chips Ahoy into your house and throwing away the tomatoes and carrots when you aren't home? Is he the Cookie Ninja instead of the Cookie Monster? The big question... is Cookie Monster the one packing your child's lunch or making it's dinner? Cookie Monster ain't making your ankle-biters fat guys, YOU are.

Cookies ARE a sometimes food. For US! Not for Cookie Monster.


THAT'S WHY HIS NAME IS COOKIE MONSTER AND NOT ASPARAGUS MONSTER.

He is fantasy. It's ok that he eats cookies all the time. It's ok that he becomes overzealous and thinks his plate is a cookie and eats it. It is called IMAGINATION and without imagination, people, we are just plain fucked.

Guess whose job it is to explain that Cookie Monster is a character and that we do not eat cookies in such extraordinary amounts? Guess whose in charge of what and how much of it goes into the grocery cart (or onto the Peapod order, if you're one of those)? I bet I don't have to answer this one for you. You lot are pretty smart.

This article also made a mention of how other things found on Sesame Street in 1969 would be found unacceptable today (there's only one I actually agree with), and they mention how Oscar the Grouch was nasty, but they don't elaborate on why that was such a problem.

And I'd like to point out that the modern day Oscar the Grouch is a character on Spongebob Squarepants called Squidward Tentacles, so the Oscar the Grouch argument is pointless and dead in the water. And iF you ask me, Squidward is a much nastier bastard than Oscar ever was. People don't see it that way because his nastiness always backfires on him, but trust me, he's a dick.

The article ends with this:

"For better or worse, today's preschooler is very different from the 1969 version. And children's television programming simply has to reflect that."



What? No.

4 years olds in 2009 are the same as 4 year olds in 1969. It's the 4 year olds from 1969 who have grown up to have 4 year old in 2009 that are jacking everything up.

(Not all of them, calm down)

What else have we done to Sesame Street that I don't know about? Are Burt and Ernie still allowed to live together, or have we taken away their domestic partership? (they're here, they're queer, get over it!) Is Ernie still allowed to keep his Twiddlebugs in the flower box, or did PETA show up with protest signs? Have they given Slimy a bath? Has Forgetful Jones been tested for ADHD yet?

The bottom line is that it's a bit of a different world and we know more things and we need to properly pass these things onto children, but that's what a parent's job is regardless of what year it is or what is on TV.

None of this is meant to indicate that I don't support change for the welfare of children. I do, very much. But you have to give me a better reason than Cookie Monster is a bad influence, because I have no problem pointing out the stupid logic here. Complain when there are problems outside of your control that might affect your child. This is not one of them. Just don't buy the crap and feed little Mary Lou a friggin' veggie or two.

Cookie Monster is fine. His fans are fine. Their parents are the ones responsible to make sure they grow up fine, not a blue furry sock with googley eyes.


Full text found HERE