Actually... that's a stupid title.
The year hasn't "made" the difference. The year didn't do anything. The year just sat there while I had the experiences, the laughs, the pain... the year just sat back in its La-Z-Boy and let me make mistakes, learn new things, build relationships, go on adventures... the year has basically been a lazy bitch while I was out bringing home the bacon.
But anyway...
I recently read back over some old blogs, particularly one that I wrote last year just at this time, a couple of days before I turned 33. So I thought why not review and update.
One change I've made is that in 2 days I will be turning 28. And every birthday forward, I will again turn 28. Never thought I be one of those people but yeah... 28.
It's a little strange to think about how I was just 12 months ago. Like, "Who WAS that person?"
I was unhappy and moody a lot of the time, and I felt like I didn't deserve a lot of the things that had happened and were happening to me. And I was right. However, I didn't know what to do about it, except be upset. So that's the biggest change. I figured out exactly what to do about it: stop taking crap, stop being negative and really appreciate all the good things around me. The negative things and the negative people needed to GO. There is too much good in this world though it may not always seem that way, and wallowing in self-pity accomplishes nothing.
Of course, bad things happen. That's a fact of life. Around this time last year, I sat there listening to gripe after gripe after endless gripe from a friend about all the bad things that were happening. Eventually I realized that most if not all of it was avoidable, changeable and handleable (is that a word?) and all the "bad" things I kept hearing about were the results of a horribly negative attitude and a generous helping of self-victimization. I never want to become one of these people. Nor do I want to do to people what that friend did to me and turn them into casualties of my negativity. My family and friends mean way too much to me for that. So I have a choice: sit around and be pissed and miserable and drive people away, or stop blaming others for my own problems, put on my big-girl panties and deal with it and look at all the GOOD things I've taken for granted.
The choice was obvious.
I've even come to a point of forgiveness for the people I've been hurt by. It's pretty easy to do once you realize that not all people are meant to get along, and sometimes people just don't know any better or don't ever learn.
I recently saw a former friend at the store one day. I almost didn't recognize her, because it's been awhile. It's a long story, but she and I just weren't cut out to be friends. And that's ok, that happens... I was about to say 'hello' to her. I don't have anything against her, and I realize that the parting of ways was both of our fault, and I accept the responsibility for that... and it's been awhile now, so I don't really see a reason not to at least say 'hello' and ask how someone's doing, you know? But she... well... doesn't appear to see it that way, I guess. She looked at me like I was a criminal, so I kind of just filed away the fact that she's holding bad feelings so I kept on going without a word. I guess sometimes it's just better that way. Leave well-enough alone and hope they are happy in whatever they're doing.
Same thing happened with another former friend, in kind of a different manner. I kind of figured, again, it's been awhile, surely some of the ice has melted... nope. In this case though, the parting of ways was brought on by the other party, and while I know it's much better that we not be part of each others lives, I still see no good reason to hold onto a bunch of bad feelings, especially the more time that passes.
So I think the lesson learned in those instances is that some people just aren't capable of change, regardless of your course of action. And again, I don't want to be that type of person.
It's not easy. It's a normal feeling to be upset and hurt when people let you down or when things aren't going well. What I've learned, though, is that sometimes things happen... if there are things that are out of your control, you have to find a positive way to deal with it. If they are things you can do something about, then you have to take action. Ok, this happened, now what can I DO about it and will my action give me the outcome I want? Maybe yes and maybe no... but would you rather NEVER know?
(That was insightful as all hell... I gotta write that one dow- oh... I just did... nevermind)
So here we are, one year later and one thousand lessons learned. About myself, about others I've interacted with, about the people in my life now... and I say, keep it coming. I'm so much NOT the person I was 12 months ago... even 6 months ago... I can directly credit 4 specific people for the vast changes and growth I'm enjoying. I've been happier lately than I've been in a long time.
So to those 4 people I say thank you. It's the best birthday present I've ever received.
The year hasn't "made" the difference. The year didn't do anything. The year just sat there while I had the experiences, the laughs, the pain... the year just sat back in its La-Z-Boy and let me make mistakes, learn new things, build relationships, go on adventures... the year has basically been a lazy bitch while I was out bringing home the bacon.
But anyway...
I recently read back over some old blogs, particularly one that I wrote last year just at this time, a couple of days before I turned 33. So I thought why not review and update.
One change I've made is that in 2 days I will be turning 28. And every birthday forward, I will again turn 28. Never thought I be one of those people but yeah... 28.
It's a little strange to think about how I was just 12 months ago. Like, "Who WAS that person?"
I was unhappy and moody a lot of the time, and I felt like I didn't deserve a lot of the things that had happened and were happening to me. And I was right. However, I didn't know what to do about it, except be upset. So that's the biggest change. I figured out exactly what to do about it: stop taking crap, stop being negative and really appreciate all the good things around me. The negative things and the negative people needed to GO. There is too much good in this world though it may not always seem that way, and wallowing in self-pity accomplishes nothing.
Of course, bad things happen. That's a fact of life. Around this time last year, I sat there listening to gripe after gripe after endless gripe from a friend about all the bad things that were happening. Eventually I realized that most if not all of it was avoidable, changeable and handleable (is that a word?) and all the "bad" things I kept hearing about were the results of a horribly negative attitude and a generous helping of self-victimization. I never want to become one of these people. Nor do I want to do to people what that friend did to me and turn them into casualties of my negativity. My family and friends mean way too much to me for that. So I have a choice: sit around and be pissed and miserable and drive people away, or stop blaming others for my own problems, put on my big-girl panties and deal with it and look at all the GOOD things I've taken for granted.
The choice was obvious.
I've even come to a point of forgiveness for the people I've been hurt by. It's pretty easy to do once you realize that not all people are meant to get along, and sometimes people just don't know any better or don't ever learn.
I recently saw a former friend at the store one day. I almost didn't recognize her, because it's been awhile. It's a long story, but she and I just weren't cut out to be friends. And that's ok, that happens... I was about to say 'hello' to her. I don't have anything against her, and I realize that the parting of ways was both of our fault, and I accept the responsibility for that... and it's been awhile now, so I don't really see a reason not to at least say 'hello' and ask how someone's doing, you know? But she... well... doesn't appear to see it that way, I guess. She looked at me like I was a criminal, so I kind of just filed away the fact that she's holding bad feelings so I kept on going without a word. I guess sometimes it's just better that way. Leave well-enough alone and hope they are happy in whatever they're doing.
Same thing happened with another former friend, in kind of a different manner. I kind of figured, again, it's been awhile, surely some of the ice has melted... nope. In this case though, the parting of ways was brought on by the other party, and while I know it's much better that we not be part of each others lives, I still see no good reason to hold onto a bunch of bad feelings, especially the more time that passes.
So I think the lesson learned in those instances is that some people just aren't capable of change, regardless of your course of action. And again, I don't want to be that type of person.
It's not easy. It's a normal feeling to be upset and hurt when people let you down or when things aren't going well. What I've learned, though, is that sometimes things happen... if there are things that are out of your control, you have to find a positive way to deal with it. If they are things you can do something about, then you have to take action. Ok, this happened, now what can I DO about it and will my action give me the outcome I want? Maybe yes and maybe no... but would you rather NEVER know?
(That was insightful as all hell... I gotta write that one dow- oh... I just did... nevermind)
So here we are, one year later and one thousand lessons learned. About myself, about others I've interacted with, about the people in my life now... and I say, keep it coming. I'm so much NOT the person I was 12 months ago... even 6 months ago... I can directly credit 4 specific people for the vast changes and growth I'm enjoying. I've been happier lately than I've been in a long time.
So to those 4 people I say thank you. It's the best birthday present I've ever received.
No comments:
Post a Comment