I've been examining some things in the world of our favorite classic sitcoms which I don't believe have been fully looked into. Some of these are small things, and some of them require a bit more investigation. I've noticed a few things with regard to the living situation of our beloved television families. A number of these things don't add up. I really have to question the architecture and contracting in the sitcom world. (Why? Because it's 11:30 at night and I have nothing to do at the moment)
Mary Tyler Moore... it's a minor thing, but it always bothered me. This poor girl had the worst apartment ever. She didn't even have a bed, and she was a television executive! I suppose she had it ok, what with having the biggest studio apartment I have ever seen, and it was the 70s, so I'm sure her rent was pretty low, but her kitchen wasn't big enough to turn around in and she didn't have a bathroom! She had what we were led to believe was a changing room or a walk in closet of some sort... was the bathroom in there? I never heard a toilet flush. Maybe Mary was too ladylike to flush with people around, and god knows that damn Cloris Leachman was showing up every 10 minutes. Always in the middle of the night too, her and that Rhoda. I'd have moved out the same week I moved in if that was what was going on. Just what a girl wants... she has to pull out the sofa and make up the bed every night after struggling around to make cocoa in that ridiculous "kitchen"... she finally gets into bed, shuts off the light, and Valerie Harper keeps showing up. Definitely a raw deal and a trade down from Mary lived on the Dick Van Dyke show. Then again, she went from Rob tripping over shit and waking her up to Rhoda knocking down the door at 2 am every night, so maybe not.
Meanwhile, over at 704 Hauser Street in Queens, New York, you DID hear the toilet flush. All the way down in Baltimore! We never heard the radio playing in the other room, or Archie and Edith going at it (and you would THINK Edith would be a screamer with that voice!) but you could hear that toilet flush from the moon.
Now, I'd also like to know if anyone else has noticed that the One Day At A Time Family lived in the same apartment as the Good Times family, which is funny for three reasons: Good Times lived in Chicago, One Day At A Time lived in Indianapolis and Florida from Good Times lived in New York one day and had a husband and three grown kids in a Chicago project the next.
The Golden Girls. I have to say, if you actually pay attention to that house, you will notice there isn't actually ANY room where their bedrooms are supposed to be. Kind of a problem for a house full of horny old widows. So we go from a house with no bedrooms to a house with a very flawed bathroom.
Mary Tyler Moore... it's a minor thing, but it always bothered me. This poor girl had the worst apartment ever. She didn't even have a bed, and she was a television executive! I suppose she had it ok, what with having the biggest studio apartment I have ever seen, and it was the 70s, so I'm sure her rent was pretty low, but her kitchen wasn't big enough to turn around in and she didn't have a bathroom! She had what we were led to believe was a changing room or a walk in closet of some sort... was the bathroom in there? I never heard a toilet flush. Maybe Mary was too ladylike to flush with people around, and god knows that damn Cloris Leachman was showing up every 10 minutes. Always in the middle of the night too, her and that Rhoda. I'd have moved out the same week I moved in if that was what was going on. Just what a girl wants... she has to pull out the sofa and make up the bed every night after struggling around to make cocoa in that ridiculous "kitchen"... she finally gets into bed, shuts off the light, and Valerie Harper keeps showing up. Definitely a raw deal and a trade down from Mary lived on the Dick Van Dyke show. Then again, she went from Rob tripping over shit and waking her up to Rhoda knocking down the door at 2 am every night, so maybe not.
Meanwhile, over at 704 Hauser Street in Queens, New York, you DID hear the toilet flush. All the way down in Baltimore! We never heard the radio playing in the other room, or Archie and Edith going at it (and you would THINK Edith would be a screamer with that voice!) but you could hear that toilet flush from the moon.
Now, I'd also like to know if anyone else has noticed that the One Day At A Time Family lived in the same apartment as the Good Times family, which is funny for three reasons: Good Times lived in Chicago, One Day At A Time lived in Indianapolis and Florida from Good Times lived in New York one day and had a husband and three grown kids in a Chicago project the next.
The Golden Girls. I have to say, if you actually pay attention to that house, you will notice there isn't actually ANY room where their bedrooms are supposed to be. Kind of a problem for a house full of horny old widows. So we go from a house with no bedrooms to a house with a very flawed bathroom.
Oh yeah.
It's been done. Every stand up comedian has touched on this but none of them really looked into the problem.
The classic joke about how a father of 6 who is also an architect builds his house with one bathroom for 6 kids. A bathroom with no toilet.
There was no toilet!!
The Brady Bunch had a big giant house with 6 kids, 2 parents, an Alice and a dog... should Mike have maybe threw in an extra bedroom? Maybe another bathroom? A toilet or two, perhaps?
But this really brings up a problem. And I want an answer. How did the Bradys go to the bathroom!?!? Just what was going on in that house? Should DCFS have maybe popped on by and checked into things? The Brady kids couldn't go to the bathroom!
We know that 6 children shared one bathroom with no toilet so what went on? Did they just "go" like farm animals and Alice had to shoo them off to school and go up there with a shovel before she made the beds? Did they have a cup hidden under Cindy's bed that they shared?
Did they poop on the Astroturf in the yard with Tiger? Is that how Jan really lost her necklace? She wasn't leaning out that window to see any stars, I'm telling you that right now. She was hanging moon out that window and trying not to get any on the siding.
There's only one conclusion I can come too. The Brady kids were born without bungholes. Think about it... on all the other shows you at least heard a joke or a mention about a person needing to pee, or being int he bathroom, or having questionable Mexican food for dinner. The Brady kids never seemed to have to use the bathroom for anything except washing up for dinner and brushing their hair. They had no escape hatches!!
And what does this all tie into?
Simple.
I watched WAY too much freakin' tv as kid.
Ok, I gotta go now. Roseanne is on.
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